A Failed Venture by Scarborough Council

Today Stephen and I went to the beach in search of the denizens of the deep, otherwise known as crabs and fish. We had a good collection of finds, all the crabs, most of the fish, including a star appearance by a sea snail (which is actually a type of fish).

Anyway, whilst walking back along the beach we noticed that on the horizon it was possible to make out a smudge against the blue sky. That smudge is the island of Tierra del Lego, otherwise known as the Lego Tierra del Fuego.

Last year Scarborough Council was in trouble. Tourism to Scarborough was dropping, and the summer season wasn’t bringing in enough money to even cover maintenance costs of roads and pavements. They were literally scrambling, like pigs in filth, for some sort of fund raising opportunity. That’s why, when the Lego Group (the company that makes Lego) proposed an idea, they agreed to it without properly thinking it over.

The idea proposed by the Lego Group was simple. What they wanted to do was build a full-scale model of Tierra del Fuego out of Lego bricks, and moor it in the sea to the east of Scarborough Castle. Doing so would serve two aims, to boost tourism to the region, and also make the world’s largest Lego model, as the completed island would cover 48,100 square kilometres.

All was going well, a two-man team undertook construction, and the island was completed within eight days. But then the problems started. Scarborough Council noticed a sub-clause in the contract they had signed, and were not happy with what it entailed. The Lego Group had made an agreement with a local scientist and entrepreneur for him to exhibit his creations on the island. Unfortunately Scarborough Council had dealt with this man before, and were exceedingly reluctant to have anything to do with him. Because of this, they pulled out of the project.

This would prove to be a great mistake. Neglecting the warnings that had been given, the Lego Group gave the go ahead for the local scientist’s part dinosaur, part Lego creations to be released onto the island. Within mere hours these monsters killed every single workman on the island.

The Lego Group responded by firing the local scientist, and mounting a clean-up operation to exterminate the cyborgal monstrosities. Unfortunately that very night a storm broke over Scarborough. The Lego group had no knowledge of storms, and decided the best course of action would be to tighten the mooring ropes keeping the island secure. If only the Council had been there to advise them! The best thing to do in a storm is loosen moorings!

All of the cables snapped, and the island was set free to float over the ocean. The clean-up crew was never heard from again, and the island has floated on the horizon ever since, a constant reminder of the Councils folly.


Passing sailors comment that strange beasts still roam the plastic landscape of Tierra del Lego even after a year has passed. Maybe they will breed, and that plastic prison will remain a haven for these monstrous creatures.

And the scientist who created these beasts? He left his research and became a caretaker at Scarborough University, forever known as Poor Man’s Richard Attenborough, and sadness follows him wherever he goes.


Me and Stephen will one day attempt to persuade a burly trawlerman to take us to the island so we can document it’s creatures. Until then….

BYE!