A walk around the castle

Today me and Stephen went for a walk around the castle. It started well. Firstly I saw Toastie Coates with a smile on his face, which is something to put a smile on everyone else's faces as well.

Toastie Coates is the estranged brother of David Coates, a lecturer at Scarborough University. They are the twin sons of a miller named Nigel, and his wife Brunetta, who stole bikes. Both brothers were born with an unusual abilty, the ability to shoot flames out of the soles of their feet. At five years of age, Toastie could be found, in bare feet, selling delicious toasties outside of train stations that he had cooked using his uncanny power. David, on the other hand, went to school and got an education. By the age of nine, Toastie had saved up enough money to buy a small shop, which he called the 'Toast Box'. David instead stayed at school, then went to university, then went on to be a primary school teacher, and then a science lecturer. He still does use his power though, sometimes when he can't be bothered to fetch a bunsen burner, and on one memorable occasion he took Stephen, and the rest of the class, on a trip to the moon, flying there with his rocket booster feet. The two brothers don't speak to each other any more, as David thinks that Toastie could have done more with his life, and Toastie thinks David could have done more to 'help serve the community'

Anyway, after seeing Toastie we carried on walking.

I saw two people fall over today. One was a man in his fifties, the other was a child about three years of age. The three year old seemed unharmed, and quickly got back to his feet. the older man didn't. Probably just laziness.

Later on in the afternoon me and Stephen went to the skate park to do some 'gnarly' tricks. However, when we arrived, we found that the skate park had been replaced with a childrens play park. This was a shock to me and Stephen as both of us are pro skateboarders. In fact we are so good at skateboarding, or 'woodpushing', that we have been given special skater names.

Skateboarder names are a closely guarded secret that I am about to blow wide open because I am bored. When someone gets really, really good at skateboarding, they get given a new name, a skateboarding name. A skateboarding name is made up of two parts, a standard first name, and then a type of bird as a surname. For example 'Tony Hawk', or 'Steve Caballero', or 'Bam Margera'.

"Caballero?" I hear you say. "Margera? These don't sound like birds. And 'Bam', that isn't a standard first name"

Well you're wrong. DEAD wrong.

First off, 'Bam' is short for Bernard. Pretty standard name now eh?

And as for 'Caballero' and 'Margera':

A North American 'Caballero' with mate.

A Romanovian 'Margera'. Also known as 'land bird'.

So there you have it, all professional skateboarders have a normal first name, and the name of a bird as a surname. My skateboarding name is 'David Eagle', wheras Stephen's is 'Robert Gannet'.

Anyway, the skatepark was gone, replaced with roundabouts and swings and various other arcane devices. Luckily outside the gate was a man, a man called Tony Mutton. He informed us that a new skate park was being built further along the coast, and will be called 'Hairy Bob's Skate Park'. This should be open in spring 2009.

"Spring 2009?" I asked "Isn't spring 2009 already half over?"

"Well, er, we had a few delays" He stuttered

"So me and my homies are going to be denied somewhere to sateboard even longer?" I demanded.

"Well, err, umm" He said, then ran away and hid under a bench. I shook my head sadly and walked home. Where I wrote this.

Bye now!