Are Bearded Men As Happy As I Expect Them To Be?

Are bearded men as happy as I expect them to be?

That is a question I was pondering today. How could they be unhappy? Beards simply look so good that i can't imagine any bearded man (or woman) not spending their time in a state of orgasmic joy. Look at Father Christmas for example, a pretty jolly BEARDED fellow.

Think about it.


Last night at Tesco I noticed some dog toys on a shelf. Usually these wouldn't attract more than a passing glance from me, or if I was feeling accomodating, I might spit at them. But last night I noticed two toys in particular. Both were in the shape of a rolled up magazine, and both had doggy themed magazine titles.


Wait for it.


One was called 'Dogsmapolitan' and underneath was emblazened the legend 'The magazine you can really get your teeth into'.


The other was more of a disappointment, as it was titled 'The Guarddog', a shabby pun on 'The Guardian'.

The first toy made me smile, but the paltry effort expended on the second made me sombre.


Anyway, today at University we had lectures and stuff. I wondered what it would be like to kill a man, and decided that poison would be my prefered method.

As for disposing of the body, I think that digging a hole in the sand at low tide and then covering the body in large stones, and then covering that with sand would do well. I'll have to try it sometime.

I saw Jason again today, he seemed slightly shorter than yesterday, but he still towered above mortal men. He kindly directed me to the correct room for one of my lectures (c22 for any time travelers) but I thought I detected hate in his eyes. I will have to keep a look out.


Also, for anyone that reads this, if you ever need to use any music in a presentation, don't use Yann Tiersen's Comptine d'une Autre Ete - L'Apres-Midi because it shows a distinct lack of effort.